Friday, August 26, 2011

The Mephisto Covenant is one book I will never be picking up ever again.

So, Mephisto Covenant.

Sounds like it would be a good book, right? A nice enough premise, seems as though the author actually did some research and, from the plot, it looks like he actually has to win her love, instead of it being the common YA insta-love. It's going to be fabulous!

Bhahahaha whooo... I love that picture. But anyways.....

It. Was. Terrible 

Let me start with some of the horrible logic and conclusions you're supposed to make while reading this book:

This is one of the most confusing books I've ever had the displeasure to read. Let me just start with the sheer amount of fuckery with the first three chapters, here. In the fist ten pages you get one of the hugest info-dumps I've ever read about the Mephistos and Anabos. Even Sasha had to get her mind wiped in order to keep from having some sort of seizure or epileptic fit because Jax decides to throw a shit ton of, well, practically shit in her face the first time he ever met her. Just as a hint, hint to future authors out there, pretty please don't do this. Build it up so that we're only getting a little at a time; throwing it at us like Faegen did ruins the suspense. While we're on the topic of mind-wiping, can I just say that this is what almost immediately put me off about Jax. He seriously needed to get some self-restraint. The dude's over one-thousand years old, you would think that he'd be able to control himself and not blab his and hers life story twice, each time trying to erase her memory of it, although the second time it didn't work because they shared spit.

.........wait. What did I just say? Because they shared some saliva during a make-out sesh she was suddenly irresistible to a mind wipe? And oh, wait; it gets ever better. Due to Jax doing a little bit of spit donating, Sasha also becomes incredibly strong, is able to move to things telepathically, and is suddenly a kick-ass ninja. I'm sorry, but my poor brain just can't process that idea very well; maybe it's because I've never heard of it before, ever, or that it's just plain dumb and looks more like an easy out than something actually plausible. Probably the latter.

So that's how wonder woman came to be; it was just Lois Lane makkin' with Superman! *rolls eyes*

Another part of the saliva debacle was that during what was practically the whole book Jax didn't kiss her because part of the "magical powers of someone else's spittle" was that it would make Sasha able to become angry and feel strong emotions. She's pretty much been a kicked puppy all her life, and that's how Jax wants her to stay.

I have a question. What's wrong with getting angry? What's wrong with feeling mad and needing justification after someone's done you wrong, and has done things like rip your room to shreds, spread a rumor like, oh, I don't know; saying that at your previous school you had send nude pictures to everyone, that your mom was a Russian whore, deleting all of your college applications, and trying to freaking rape you? I'll tell you: nothing. The only time I actuallyliked Sasha was when she got mad and really took some revenge out on who did her wrong; which was pretty much the whole freaking town. I absolutely hated when she was trying "not to be a bother"

And she has an automatic ticket to Heaven no matter what she does; even if she becomes Mephisto and has emotions, so who really gives a flying fuck? She could get angry, kill everyone on the planet, shoot all the fluffy bunnies around the world, and blow up the Earth, and when she dies, as far as we know as the readers; she'd still go to Heaven! So, literally, why the hell is Jax freaking out about it?! Everyone else on the entire planet gets angry, and for the most part; they can control themselves, so what's so wrong with Sasha just being able to stand up for herself?! Ugh; I just didn't understand it at all.

Oh, noes, my little girl is angry! What tall, dark, and clueless man has been making out with my daughter and making her actually have feelings!?

Just a lot of the logic in this book makes little to no sense and, if you can't tell, it detracted considerably from the book as a whole. One last example before I get to the Twimitation *shivers* is how everyone else hates Sasha because they can supposedly sense, in some inner part of themselves, that she's Anabo. Even people that she helps with school, or saves them from bullies, hates her because they can somehow tell that she slightly glows and can't get angry. If someone saved me from a beating or a verbal shouting match I wouldn't feel like, afterwards, that I had to stone her to death because she glows (yes, that actually happens in the book, people) People just aren't like that, at all and to portray us as such is kind of like an insult to the human character. I at least like to think that people are capable of a greater good than that.

And now we get to the dreaded Twimitation part of the review; the biggest turnoff for me of this book, ever. I swear that she literally stole the words right out of Meyer's mouth, and she did it twice! Here's the first quote: ""I should let you go and walk away" His lips traveled across her face, kissing her forehead, her nose, her temples "
Yes, you should"
She didnt.
Me: please don't let it happen again, pleaseeeee!
He moved his head so that his lips were close to her ear " Run from me, Sasha. If you can do it, run like hell and don't come back."
My breath came out in short little gasps "I don't want to run"

Why oh why oh why did she have to do that to the both of them as characters?!? I mean she pretty much turned them into Bella and Edward; except Edward, the poser, only wished he could be demon spawn, Jax is actually the real thing, so that makes it better, right? And Sasha gasping all the time and not running away from what is clearly a dangerous guy/situation doesn't make her like Bella, because she actually rejected him!

I can tell that Faegen was trying to break away from that mould by havingBella Sasha reject Edward Jax at first instead of having total insta-love, but it was basically pointless, because that's basically what it was. Every other page Sasha was obsessing over Jax, all the while denying him to help her out in order to keep up with the illusion in her head that she was rejecting him. She was trying to "defend and lookout for herself" but in many cases that's not what she was doing at all, which is what scares me for impressionable people that read this book. Especially in one scene where a guy comes over and he starts putting his hand all the way up her skirt, grabs her boobs, and is basically sexually molesting her in the middle of fucking lunch. And she just sits there, cries quietly, and lets him do it because she doesn't want to attract attention. Even just typing that makes my blood boil. That is not, and never will be okay. EVER. I'm going to send out a PSA right now and say that if a guyever does that during lunch, or anywhere, you do NOT sit there and quietly cry. You scream bloody murder and hit that motherfucker so hard in the balls he'll be sterile for the rest of his pathetic life. And in that same scene, Faegen also writes that no one notices, and if they do, they ignore it, because the rumor of her being a slut is still going around. That is such bullshit I'm almost speechless. Even if a girl at my school had a reputation as a whore if a guy came up to her and you could see where his hands were and she was crying, I know probably half of my student body would go pummel that guy to the ground, especially if it was in such a public place as a freaking cafeteria. Sigh. I'm so sick and tired of this book.

The only thing I liked about this book was the sex scene. Yes, a YA author finally got the balls to write a descriptive sex scene, thank God There has only been one other YA book that I've read that has even mentioned the two love interests doing the deed is The Iron Queen - which is a lot better than Mephisto Covenant, by the way, and Kagawa wasn't nearly as descriptive about it as Faegen was. So, if you want one decent sex scene, read about 300+ pages of shit and you'll get there!

The only people I would suggest this book to is other reviewer to fuel up their snark, but, besides that, I would never suggest this book to anyone; this book doesn't deserve to be enjoyed by anyone. And now, I'm left with my simmering feelings and no one to understand me *sobs*

1 comment:

  1. Oooh you got a blog! now I can stalk- err, read- your reviews here! Woot, first follower! :D As usual, loved this review- pics made me laugh, the snarkiness was awesome, and now I wanna read this. :)) I've heard bout this book before, but it got bumped up the TBR pile now!