Saturday, August 27, 2011

Wow. Before I start this review, I'm going to do a little fan-girl gushing: this book was soooo amazing and wonderful and flat-out (haha I'm punny as a fan-girl) stupendous that if you don't have this book on your to-read list, put it on there now.........

Hahahahah I'm just kidding

But seriously.

Let me start off this review with the characters, because they are so incredibly real to me. I feel like I could walk out of my house and they'd be the ones standing next door. Park broke away from what other authors write as your typical "unhappy" family- alcholic mom or dad; maybe no parents at all, kids on drugs, lives in a broken-down house because the parents are dead beat, or just the opposite: rich, bratty, mom and dad who live in a huge expensive house and ignores the kids. This is pretty much an easy out for many authors to give you as little as they possibly can yet still give you the general idea of what they're talking about, but Park pretty much gives all those authors and their mediocre ways the bird and does it her own way. She wants you to feel like I did while reading this book: that this is your average, everyday, American family-with a secret. Now lets be honest, here; almost every family/ person, whether you know about it or not, has at least one secret, some hide-it-in-the-closet-and-never-let-it-see-the-light-of-day-again kind of secret. You ever walk into somebody's house, hell, it could very well be your own, and you can just tell that something's wrong? That there's a giant, polka-dotted, elephant in the room, but you feel like you can't say anything about it because it's none of your business?

Hello, and I'm what ruined everyone's lives, but you can't talk about me.....orelse 

Parker created that wonderful, amazing, girl, Julie, to be able to barge into that home and figure out what was really going on and help heal the whole family, especially Celeste. She was stubborn, kind, witty, gutsy, and just wanted to help. It's almost like you're living vicariously through her; you're finally finding out that secret that your best friend has kept from you for years, or that unspoken tightness between your mom and grandfather that has kept your family apart, and it really is exhilarating.

I loved all of the shades of grey that Park put into the family. Nobody's perfect; in fact, they're quite dysfunctional: Erica at first seems great, but then you find out that she's extremely depressed and ignores her kids to a fault, Roger, the dad, is always gone due to his job and is non-supportive because of the secret (yes it's very infuriating; you're supposed to feel that way, but it's all part of Park's grand master plan, so hang with it) Matt tries to help his sister the best he can, but his protectiveness is smothering and he's on the computer excessively, and Celeste, well, I can't even describe her on here; her character has just so many layers to it; which is just another reason why you should pick up this book.

Hahahahah I'm just kidding again.

But, seriously. 

But my point with saying that isn't at all to say that they're horrible people; it's quite the opposite. Flat Finn, or; in other words, is the rigid, life-size, cardboard picture of Finn, the oldest brother, that Celeste carries around with her everywhere she goes is why they are the way they are. Finn being gone on what you at first think is just a vacation has destroyed the family. He's a lot like Phineas from the novel A Separate Peace he was enigmatic, smart, funny, charming, devilishly handsome, and the glue that held the family together. With him now gone, all of the traits that I listed above that used to be more hidden in the family are now even more pronounced; even though the family tries so hard to hide from Julie when she first arrives. They aren't horrible people, what happened to their family was horrible, and it affected them all very differently and park uses the Flat Finn almost as a character foil to that. When Julie first gets there, the family looks fine, if not a little weird like flat Finn, but then you begin to notice the stiffness of it, how two-dimensional they are, and as Julie helps Celeste get over her problems and adds hinges to Flat Finn to make him more flexible and portable, the family also becomes a lot more open and starts to recover. It was very nice to see a book where every little thing had a purpose, and every purpose/change had a person or an item it was attached to that responded accordingly.

And oh my God the plot. I'm in love with it. It was so hardly there with Julie and Finn, and I loved it. It didn't overpower the rest of the novel and what was going on, but it was still there and everything eventually rounded back to it so that you wouldn't never really forget about it. Park had me laughing soooo much with the banter between Julie and Matt, Celeste's strange actions, sad when Julie's feelings were hurt, angry when her dad abandoned her, and gasping at the sheer sexiness of other parts. And Park swung me around so quickly from one emotion to another that she got the most raw emotions out of me as well. I was gasping then laughing then crying, all in the space of ten pages. My mom even asked if I was alright because of all the assorted odd sounds I was making. I don't know if it was just how late I read it until, but I actually didn't figure out what was going on with Julie, Finn, and the family until Julie did. And I liked that. It made it all the more heartbreaking for me to find out what had happened, and made my heart bleed horribly for Julie.

So, I would definitely recommend this book to anyone who is looking for a good story after reading a lot of snark, like me. It lifts your spirits and makes you just feel so good. Like I said earlier, if you don't have this on your to-read list put it on now; you won't regret it. Ever.

Friday, August 26, 2011

The Mephisto Covenant is one book I will never be picking up ever again.

So, Mephisto Covenant.

Sounds like it would be a good book, right? A nice enough premise, seems as though the author actually did some research and, from the plot, it looks like he actually has to win her love, instead of it being the common YA insta-love. It's going to be fabulous!

Bhahahaha whooo... I love that picture. But anyways.....

It. Was. Terrible 

Let me start with some of the horrible logic and conclusions you're supposed to make while reading this book:

This is one of the most confusing books I've ever had the displeasure to read. Let me just start with the sheer amount of fuckery with the first three chapters, here. In the fist ten pages you get one of the hugest info-dumps I've ever read about the Mephistos and Anabos. Even Sasha had to get her mind wiped in order to keep from having some sort of seizure or epileptic fit because Jax decides to throw a shit ton of, well, practically shit in her face the first time he ever met her. Just as a hint, hint to future authors out there, pretty please don't do this. Build it up so that we're only getting a little at a time; throwing it at us like Faegen did ruins the suspense. While we're on the topic of mind-wiping, can I just say that this is what almost immediately put me off about Jax. He seriously needed to get some self-restraint. The dude's over one-thousand years old, you would think that he'd be able to control himself and not blab his and hers life story twice, each time trying to erase her memory of it, although the second time it didn't work because they shared spit.

.........wait. What did I just say? Because they shared some saliva during a make-out sesh she was suddenly irresistible to a mind wipe? And oh, wait; it gets ever better. Due to Jax doing a little bit of spit donating, Sasha also becomes incredibly strong, is able to move to things telepathically, and is suddenly a kick-ass ninja. I'm sorry, but my poor brain just can't process that idea very well; maybe it's because I've never heard of it before, ever, or that it's just plain dumb and looks more like an easy out than something actually plausible. Probably the latter.

So that's how wonder woman came to be; it was just Lois Lane makkin' with Superman! *rolls eyes*

Another part of the saliva debacle was that during what was practically the whole book Jax didn't kiss her because part of the "magical powers of someone else's spittle" was that it would make Sasha able to become angry and feel strong emotions. She's pretty much been a kicked puppy all her life, and that's how Jax wants her to stay.

I have a question. What's wrong with getting angry? What's wrong with feeling mad and needing justification after someone's done you wrong, and has done things like rip your room to shreds, spread a rumor like, oh, I don't know; saying that at your previous school you had send nude pictures to everyone, that your mom was a Russian whore, deleting all of your college applications, and trying to freaking rape you? I'll tell you: nothing. The only time I actuallyliked Sasha was when she got mad and really took some revenge out on who did her wrong; which was pretty much the whole freaking town. I absolutely hated when she was trying "not to be a bother"

And she has an automatic ticket to Heaven no matter what she does; even if she becomes Mephisto and has emotions, so who really gives a flying fuck? She could get angry, kill everyone on the planet, shoot all the fluffy bunnies around the world, and blow up the Earth, and when she dies, as far as we know as the readers; she'd still go to Heaven! So, literally, why the hell is Jax freaking out about it?! Everyone else on the entire planet gets angry, and for the most part; they can control themselves, so what's so wrong with Sasha just being able to stand up for herself?! Ugh; I just didn't understand it at all.

Oh, noes, my little girl is angry! What tall, dark, and clueless man has been making out with my daughter and making her actually have feelings!?

Just a lot of the logic in this book makes little to no sense and, if you can't tell, it detracted considerably from the book as a whole. One last example before I get to the Twimitation *shivers* is how everyone else hates Sasha because they can supposedly sense, in some inner part of themselves, that she's Anabo. Even people that she helps with school, or saves them from bullies, hates her because they can somehow tell that she slightly glows and can't get angry. If someone saved me from a beating or a verbal shouting match I wouldn't feel like, afterwards, that I had to stone her to death because she glows (yes, that actually happens in the book, people) People just aren't like that, at all and to portray us as such is kind of like an insult to the human character. I at least like to think that people are capable of a greater good than that.

And now we get to the dreaded Twimitation part of the review; the biggest turnoff for me of this book, ever. I swear that she literally stole the words right out of Meyer's mouth, and she did it twice! Here's the first quote: ""I should let you go and walk away" His lips traveled across her face, kissing her forehead, her nose, her temples "
Yes, you should"
She didnt.
Me: please don't let it happen again, pleaseeeee!
He moved his head so that his lips were close to her ear " Run from me, Sasha. If you can do it, run like hell and don't come back."
My breath came out in short little gasps "I don't want to run"

Why oh why oh why did she have to do that to the both of them as characters?!? I mean she pretty much turned them into Bella and Edward; except Edward, the poser, only wished he could be demon spawn, Jax is actually the real thing, so that makes it better, right? And Sasha gasping all the time and not running away from what is clearly a dangerous guy/situation doesn't make her like Bella, because she actually rejected him!

I can tell that Faegen was trying to break away from that mould by havingBella Sasha reject Edward Jax at first instead of having total insta-love, but it was basically pointless, because that's basically what it was. Every other page Sasha was obsessing over Jax, all the while denying him to help her out in order to keep up with the illusion in her head that she was rejecting him. She was trying to "defend and lookout for herself" but in many cases that's not what she was doing at all, which is what scares me for impressionable people that read this book. Especially in one scene where a guy comes over and he starts putting his hand all the way up her skirt, grabs her boobs, and is basically sexually molesting her in the middle of fucking lunch. And she just sits there, cries quietly, and lets him do it because she doesn't want to attract attention. Even just typing that makes my blood boil. That is not, and never will be okay. EVER. I'm going to send out a PSA right now and say that if a guyever does that during lunch, or anywhere, you do NOT sit there and quietly cry. You scream bloody murder and hit that motherfucker so hard in the balls he'll be sterile for the rest of his pathetic life. And in that same scene, Faegen also writes that no one notices, and if they do, they ignore it, because the rumor of her being a slut is still going around. That is such bullshit I'm almost speechless. Even if a girl at my school had a reputation as a whore if a guy came up to her and you could see where his hands were and she was crying, I know probably half of my student body would go pummel that guy to the ground, especially if it was in such a public place as a freaking cafeteria. Sigh. I'm so sick and tired of this book.

The only thing I liked about this book was the sex scene. Yes, a YA author finally got the balls to write a descriptive sex scene, thank God There has only been one other YA book that I've read that has even mentioned the two love interests doing the deed is The Iron Queen - which is a lot better than Mephisto Covenant, by the way, and Kagawa wasn't nearly as descriptive about it as Faegen was. So, if you want one decent sex scene, read about 300+ pages of shit and you'll get there!

The only people I would suggest this book to is other reviewer to fuel up their snark, but, besides that, I would never suggest this book to anyone; this book doesn't deserve to be enjoyed by anyone. And now, I'm left with my simmering feelings and no one to understand me *sobs*

Monday, August 22, 2011

Slumber-a well written twist on the classic tale

Some spoilers are in this review. You have now been warned and I will not be responsible for any red-face, shock, and/or heart attacks that may occur if you don't like spoilers. 

Slumber is the remake of the classic fairy tale Sleeping Beauty, but with a couple of twists. The heroic "knight" that saves her from her deep sleep and restores her crumbling kingdom-instead of the dashing Prince Charming- is none other than her best friend Rogan. 

The book starts off in a way I didn't expect. Instead of it beginning with her in the present time, it starts off with Rogan telling of her childhood in a nice (but slightly wordy) whimsical prose: 
When I was a child the world smelled of summer.

The heady perfume of the dancing wildflowers would hug my senses every time the breeze rattled their song and took them with it on its journey to soothe my cheeks from the heat of the afternoon sun. The relieving scent of the damp soil when the sun had pushed the sky too far and it wept rain for days on end, before wearily turning the world back over to its golden companion. The refreshing aroma of lemons in the thick air of the house, mixing with my mother’s baking as she prepared our afternoon repast of bitter lemonade and thick warm bread, slathered with creamy butter made cold from the sheltering shade of the larder.

And my father’s pipe.

The sweet odour of tobacco tickling my nose as he held me close and whispered the stories of our Salvation and the mighty Kral who lived in the grandest palace in all the land with his beautiful daughter the Princezna... how kind and gentle they were... the reason my private world was one of innocence and endless summer." 

Then, very quickly, Rogan's childhood, and innocence, really, are shattered when Vikomt Stovia arrives at her house and brutally murders her mother, father, and little brother right in front of her eyes. Why, do you ask? Because she's an Azyl: a person with the magic to seek and find anything anyone desires, and with magic slowly dying out, she's needed at the palace to be the Princezna's Seeker. 

Now, before I continue on, I'll fill you guys in on how this world works: it's run by a group of people called the Dyvatzi (who the Princhezna Hayden is) who pretty much have this super-sweet power to keep things calm and keep people from hating and being cruel. Then there are the Dravilec, who are the healers, and the Glava who are pretty much wizards and can control the elements, have telekinesis, and can control people's minds, and as I said, the Azyls. 

So the King dies and it is left to his 8 year old daughter, Hayden, to rule (they are the only Dyvatzi left), she has Stovia go find one of each of the tribes of people, but due to her weak powers being only a child, Stovia uses some cruel-and very unnecessary- ways to find them all. 

I found Stovia to be a great bad guy in the story. The things he did were truly awful: he murdered, ripped children from their homes, and used Rogan's own powers to find and murder the healer's family. Also he really has a total disregard and carelessness for human life. He broke Rogan's mother's neck ,slit her little brother's throat, then stepped over his body like it was just a log. Oh, and he branded is own freaking son and called him his property, so if that's not a messed-up guy I don't know what is. I also like how Rogan described him: like a snake. I know that that's kind of cliche, but Young really extends it to his whole being; his cloak hisses, his eyes are black, he stalks and slides along the ground, etc. He was bad to the max, essentially. A pretty good villain, in my eyes. 

But, back to the plot line! 

So Stovia brings all of the children with the powers back to the young Princezna, Hayden (who has no idea of what means he used to acquire these children) and Hayden immediately latches onto Rogan to become her family, since she lost what little she already had, and her and Rogan become close friends as they learn palace life. There really isn't much about them growing up except for one part (but that's a bit of a spoiler) and the story jumps ahead to present time where Hayden is 17 and Rogan is 19, and, as Hayden falls under the sleeping ailment, her country is thrown into chaos and only Rogan can find the location of the one flower that can save her life. 

I have never hated-and yet loved- a character as much as I have one feisty little Rogan. I loved her because she's gone through so much horrible shit in her life: her parents and brother dying, and (view spoiler) instead of being oh woe is me my life sucks, she moves on because get this, guys: she knows that there are more important things to do and she has to move on to help her and her country. I'm not saying that she's some unemotional robot, either. She has horrible nightmares every night about that time with Stovia and the Mountain Man, and she can't deal with certain things because they remind her too much of that horrible time in her life. But she puts her own demons behind her for the day and doesn't let it effect her. Now that's a MC that I can get behind and root for in a novel, which is exactly what I did. 

Before I get to what I also didn't like Rogan, I have to talk about one hot piece of man, Wolfe Stovia (whom I also like to call Wolfie and my Wolfe-man ) I love him. Now I know you're probably thinking, Stovia.....hey, isn't this his son?! *gasp* why do you love him I'm sure he's totally evil! And in response to that, I have a question. Who says that just because it's the son of the bad guy that he also has to be rotten to the core? This has become very common in YA these days; the child of the bad guy is evil, bitchy, backstabbing, pretty much the cliche "the apple never falls far from the tree". But Slumber breaks off of this mold which couldn't make me happier. Wolfe is the total opposite of his father. He's Captain of the Guard, has a deep sense of right and wrong, and is virtuous. Don't get me wrong, he's not some angelic good boy; he's badass and he knows it, but it's a different kind of BA than the norm of: 

* guy rides up all in black leather on a black motorcycle and leans against a light-pole: " hey, my name's Malcolm, totally cool bad-boy name right?" *tucks hands into dark-washed jeans in the typical fashion* 
Me: Alright, then...Hey. 
Malcolm: "'I'm going to go be a rebel and do something highly illegal/dangerous, coerce you into coming with me, then, when we're on a total adrenaline high, I'll let you in on some highly deep and personal secret of mine that shows I actually do have feelings." *puts on black sunglasses* "let's go" 
Me: Uhmmm that's alright, I've seen it before *yawn* 
Malcolm: what?! No one has been able to resist the secret soft side that is Malcom! Lets try this again." 
Me: well, if you really want.... you can try. 
Malcolm: *staggers a little bit up to me* " hey, I'm totally drunk and hammered, but it's not because I'm bad; that's all show, it's because I've had really bad stuff happen to me and I think about you all the time so I drink! I love you, Cait! Come away with me!" 
Me: *eyes get huge* "have fun with that" *runs away* 

This is what Wolfe is like: 
*comes up on a horse in his Guard clothes looking all badass with his sword and expertly swings off of his horse and looks at me with those crazy-hot blue eyes* 
Me: Ohhhh boy. 
Wolfe: "I've had bad shit happen in my life, but that's neither here nor there. I'm just going to try and protect you as best as I can, and maybe, once I earn your trust, you can grow to love me as much as I've loved you ever since I first saw you. Maybe then, and only if you want, we can share and help each other through what's happened to both of us. " 
Me: *swoon* 
( I know I probably failed at that, but, seriously, he's amazing) 

You can tell right from the very beginning that Wolfe loves Rogan, even if both of them say snide remarks and push at each other's buttons. He's always right there with her, protecting her, no matter what, and I loved him for it. 
*some spoilers ahead relationship-wise. If you really don't want to know what happens in their relationship, then stop here, although it's pretty obvious the second you first see Wolfe* 

Which is exactly why I hated Rogan. After him only having to save her life about four freaking times, she finally realizes that he loves her and, well, they do the deed ( which was a really good scene). But, guess what she does, folks? She gets up in the morning, sees Wolfe gone, and decides that she's making......get this.... a mistake. If that wasn't stupid enough, she goes and tells Wolfe that and essentially breaks his heart, for really no reason that I felt like was a big deal. Then she still has the balls to make out with him two more times, have sex with him again, listen to Wolfe tell a girl he used to be in a serious relationship with that she loves only her, and STILL deny him. I mean, whhhaaattt?!?! To use an analogy to reiterate my point it was kind of like this photo: 

To set up the scene in case you don't watch baseball, the pitcher throws the ball and hits the hitter in the thigh, and the hitter rushes the mound to go: 
A. Punch the pitcher 
B. Pick up his leg and hop at the pitcher, who does the same in return 
C. Spit in the pitcher's face 
D. A & C 

Well, if any of you are crazy and chose B, you're.... 



Besides the craziness of that; it's pretty much how I felt about Rogan. I thought that they would just go into their relationship easily after being together, but then she does a japanese pitcher and throws me all off-balance. I felt like, after Stovia was gone as the villain, Rogan herself was the villain in this book. She kept on making all the wrong choices and sabotaging herself almost everywhere she went, which was probably why I ticked off the star. 

The only other thing that bothered me in this book was some of the language that Young set up. I felt like it was a mix of slavic and italian, and some of the names were hard to pronounce because of it. 

Besides all that, though, I really liked this book. The journey was really well-written for the most part. There was a lot of action (mostly in the way of kidnapping and other things that put Rogan in danger) and I liked that Rogan could take care of herself. She was tough and the journey made her even tougher, while also making her grow and mature in ways she and I didn't really expect. Really, really horrible things happened to her on her mission to save her friend, and she just kept on going no matter what the cost when, if I was in her shoes, I don't think I'd be able to. 

There was no horribly random cliffhanger at the end of the book, or Wolfe and Rogan separate again; really, it's all tied up an taken care of, so I'm kind of excited to see what new turn Young takes with the next book in this series. Definitely read this book if you haven't already. 

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Supernaturally was just missing something

Four out of five stars

You ever read a first book that you just loved and had everything you were looking for: a good MC, no love triangles, action, suspense, not a lot of vanilla characters, was fun, and had an ending that wraps everything neatly with just enough strings left unattached that leaves a smidgen of mystery to rope you into the next book? 

Well, for me, that was Paranormalcy, the first book in this series. I just loved it. Evie was smart, badass, had a funny voice, and really good character depth. I totally devoured that book and have re-read it quite a few times; I just wanted to be sucked back into her world that White created so well. After I finished that book I was really excited to read Supernaturally, and waited with baited breath for its release. And you can believe I bought this sucker the second it was on the shelves. 

Well, what did I think after such high expectations? I'm going to use another rhetorical question to describe my feelings here: 

You ever read the next book of a series and feel like something you thought was indelible is now gone? It was like that for me while reading Paranormalcy. The best way I can explain it is that there was some sort of spark the first book had that was missing here, and I just couldn't connect to Evie, Lend, or really the book as whole as well as I did the first time. 

Part of the problem for me, which I thought I'd never say, was Lend. He wasn't in this book nearly as often, and even when he was all he was doing was nagging Evie and not letting her make her own choices (although Evie did tell him uh-uh mister I make my own decisions) or his being there was further clouded by Evie worrying about telling him that he was immortal. Bleh. I seriously just wanted to grab her shoulders and shake her! Just freaking tell the man already! He deserves to know something so personal about his own life, dammit! Oh, and did anyone else find that his solution to the problem that he lives forever and Evie could die before she turns 30 was kind of stupid? It wasn't really even a solution. It was just some blanket statement that solved nothing; which wasn't something I expected Lend to come up with, but it seems some of his sense has flown out the window. I mean, how does saying "I'm just going to live my life" solve anything! You're going to live forever, Lend! I'm sorry, but that just sounds like a pussy answer; you can't just put in on the back-burner! Then he never really said anything funny or witty, he just ran around worrying about Evie the whole bleeping time, and that was not cool with me. 

And I'm even more shocked to say that some of the reason that the spark was gone was because of Evie. For one, she was so dependent on Lend that she seemed to stop thinking or having many coherent ideas of her own. She even says herself towards the end that she wasn't thinking (view spoiler) I mean, what!? In the last book, if Evie was in trouble or had a big problem to solve, she figured it out and was smart about it, but in Supernaturally she seemed to turn into a bit of a Bella Swan and think that the dangerous, stupid, things were the best way to go, like follow Jack who she doesn't really even know and leave Lend. And she was so scared of sharing anything with Lend because he'd be mad at her. That's not the Evie I knew at all. She makes her own choice for what she feels like is best, and if someone doesn't like that well, screw them. I feel like she lost some of that spunk that I've always admired about her character. 

I thought that Jack was a nice addition to the story, but not necessarily needed, per-say. I think White could have just stuck with faeries and could have been fine. (with more Reth, another thing I was bothered about; I needed more of the sleezeball!) I think that there were flashes where I could see Jack becoming a good main character, but it just never stayed there and I didn't connect with him. 

Now, I did rate this book four stars, so I still did like it and White's writing was fine, Evie still had her moments, and there was a nice suspense and plot. I will read the last book in the series; maybe with not nearly as much fan-girl action as I had before, but hopefully this is just a common case of MBS (middle book syndrome) and it will go back to the series I adored with her last installment.

Wildefire burned itself up, sadly

No no no no no no no just a million times no, Karsten Knight. I don't really even know why I rated this book two stars; it deserves a one but I feel like being nice today so it gets two stars for......I guess for even being published. Because either Knight is the smoothest negotiator in history, his publishers have never read a good book in their lives, or they all are idiots. Maybe even a mix of all three, but I'm guessing more of the latter. A lot more of the latter. 

First of all, I really hated Ashline. And mostly not in the same way I hated other TSTL heroines like Luce, Bella, or Bethany. Those girls were mostly retarded idiots. Ashline is literally crazy. And to top it all off, she's dumber and duller than a freaking fruit fly. In order to demonstrate some of her total idiocy is with her powers. For well over half of the book, she declares over and over and over again that she's not special at all, even with all of the glaring signs. The plot of the first half of the story pretty much goes like this: 
*Ashline is albe to throw a girl about 20 or more feet in the air and her sister is able to call down lightning to fry a girl* 

Ashline (or A hole, as I will now call her): I'm not special! 

Me: okayy....... 

*A-hole is able to push a brand-new, two ton truck so fast and so hard that she'srunning and is able to vault into the bed of the truck in one leap* 

Me: *does a double take* 

A-hole: I'm not special! 

Me: whaaaa- 

*A-hole and four other kids are able to hear the screams of a Siren inside of their heads while no one else can, and they do a little telepathic pow-wow and everyone is told that they are gods* 

A-hole: I'm not special! I'm just mortal! It must all be a fluke! 

Me: *blood pressure begins to spike* 

*she wakes up to her bed freaking lit on fire* 

A-hole: I don't know what's causing this because I don't have any powers! (her sister at this point even comments on how idiotic she is that she doesn't know what's causing it. Hint, hint, it's you, A-hole!) 

Me: GAAAAAAHHH! *has a heart attack* 

* A-hole finally realizes after only burning her palm on her hubby's chest that maybe she is......wait for it....after only 270 or so pages...... special! * 

A-hole: maybe I am special. Huh. * walks away then barely ever uses her powers again and just bumbles around the rest of the book* 

Me: *slaps forehead* 

This was probably one of the most off-putting things about the whole book. She so consistently denied what she could do with all of the glaring signs that she was special; hell they were practically screaming at the girl, that I just got tired of the book as a whole. 

Now I get to the crazy part. There is a scene in the beginning of the book (view spoiler) and instead of running away she goes and has a casual conversation with herdemented sister like nothing just happened. I'm not even joking. It was a totally normal conversation; she completely forgot that the body was even there. There wasn't even any inner dialogue where she was trying to distract her sister by talking; it was like she had a very, very severe case of ADHD. 

A-hole: "oh wow, a body. So, what are you doing this weekend?" 

And while I was still trying to recover from the severe fuckery of the first thirty pages there is a scene where her boyfriend of two months, Bobby, wants to get past second base, and she denies him because she doesn't want to rush. Now that's alright, but she becomes so enraged that they're breaking up (even though she's the one that ends it) that she throws a clock with such force that it shatters into a million pieces. That's not even the worst part. After shattering the clock her boyfriend calls her crazy, and while in her head she is raging that she's definitely not crazy; in sheer crazy anger, she rips a lamp out of the wall with such force that she makes a hole where the lamp was plugged in, and oh, did I mention she's screaming unintelligibly the whole time? Bleh. Then, a little while later while pushing a two ton truck (which is totally normal *sigh*) she imagines Bobby bound and gagged with his face in the dirt, screaming, while she steadily comes closer and closer with the truck, ready to crush him. Now I don't know about you, but if a guy of two months (who I haven't even had sex with) breaks up with me, I'm not going to feel like I need to kill him. Maybe slap him, but not crush him to death under a truck! I think the problem was that Knight just tried so hard for his character not to be a Bella swan and instead went overboard on whole "being the feminist" angle that is just became almost nauseating for me to read. Sigh. 

Geez I'm sighing half to death over this book. 

Oh, and do you guys want to know the extremely horrible triumph scene for our A-hole? She beats her sister in a match of tennis. A freaking. Match. Of tennis. 


I'm speechless. Well, almost. Is that really the best that Knight could come up with? Whatever happened to the part where they were supposed to save the world? And unless they change it on Goodreads, there is apparently only one book. Bleh. There were just sooo many things that happened in this book that Knight just dropped off is and never talked about again. The whole saving the world debacle is only one example. There's the whole case of, "where are my true parents" that she agonizes for over half the book was fixed within a page. Then, the whole reason why Eve really fought with A-hole towards the end of the book: (view spoiler) That's one really big reason why they freaking fight in the first place, so to just have it end, and kind of cruelly, too, with the asshole first abandoning, then totally forgetting her (view spoiler) and just letting her be hunted and killing people. I mean, I guess I could understand if she's really that savage, but she should have at least agonized over her own flesh and blood turning out that way. It makes her seem very cold-hearted. 

Oh, and did anyone else find it even slightly creepy/ weird that A-hole's love interest is a freshman in college, and she's only a sophomore in high school? For one, that's at least a three to four year difference (that makes him 19 or 20 while she's 16) and he randomly becomes totally smitten with her after a mere glance at the local bar. If that's not a case insta-love, I don't know what is. 

Oh and the flow is some of the most horrendous stuff I've ever read. He jumps from place to place and time to time, with minimal to no segue between them. I have to go back and re-read the parts to somehow make a bridge between the jumps and pretty much understand what the fuck just happened. Here's an example: 

" She rolled the dowels back together, set the scroll down beside the rocking chair, and fixed her gaze on the lawn. It took her a moment to realize that she was staring at the spot in the grass where Lizzie Jacobs had landed, dead, when she’d rolled off the roof. But anywhere was better than looking at the instructions Jack had left for Rolfe. Ashline’s scroll consisted of three words. Rolfe’s scroll consisted of only two. 

(the upcoming quote is the next paragraph. Not even a new chapter which would kind of make sense; it's the next. Freaking. Paragraph) 

The wind in her hair. Her leather jacket billowing behind her. The tingle of the sun against her face. " 

AHHHHH! *rips our hair* This is just one of the many awkward shifts that make no sense, and they royally pissed me off. I wanted to read about the emotion that goes through a person's mind when they realize someone died for them. Even denial about it all, anger, anything, but he just goes straight to her riding a motorcycle. And just in case my uppercase lettering isn't enough, here's a picture: 


Pain. Complete, total, and utter pain 

And I found none of the supporting cast of characters that Knight created likable at all. They never really connected with me or made me feel something for them. They all were either douchebags, turn friends into 45 year old women, or total ice-queens. Oh, or they were alcoholics and every time you met them they were totally hammered. 

Friends. If they're not growing ivy claws, aging years in seconds, playing with people's minds, turning them into psychopaths, ignoring you, insulting you to your face, or trying to kill you, they're drinking! Don't they sound just fantastic?! *rolls eyes sarcastically* 

And I feel slightly ashamed, but I never actually finished it. I got to about ten pages before the book ends, and the damn paragraph break that I showed earlier just made me put it down. The only way that the ending-since I'm pretty sure was totally stupid- could have pulled me into the book again was if Jesus had came riding out of the book on page 390 on the back of a unicorn who farted glitter; haloed by a bunch of tiny, singing fairies, and told me that if I read the last ten pages, the fountain of youth would spring forth, and underneath the bubbling fountain, was the Ark of the Covenant with the holy grail sitting atop it. Oh, and the end to world hunger. Oh, and another special, smaller, fountain that granted me any sort of superpower I wished. 

Yeaaahhhh not gonna happen